A Letter to a Young Man



I don’t know you and so don’t know the specific challenges you face, and the struggles that you endure, but I know that at times it feels overwhelming and that you sometimes (or maybe often) don’t know how to get from where you currently are to where you want to be.  Maybe you think a lot of negative things about yourself that aren’t true (in my experience most of the negative things that people think about themselves are not true).  Maybe life seems stupid, pointless and empty, so why even try.  Maybe the options that you can see in the world all look unappetizing.  Maybe you feel different from everyone else you know, so don’t feel understood or accepted.  Maybe you are very fearful about being in the world, interacting with others, making mistakes, appearing stupid, being judged, or being rejected, so you isolate yourself.  Maybe the world seems so overwhelming that the only way that you feel comfortable is to drink, get high, or trip.  Maybe drugs and alcohol are not your thing, so you disappear into fantasy, games, or media.  Whatever your story, and however you are getting through the day, it is essential to remember that you are important and valuable.  Your presence in the world is crucial, and while it may sound cliché, there is nobody else in the world who can be you.

Things can be different.  You can be the person you want to be.  You can have the life you want.  You can find your place in this world and enjoy life.  It is very possible to do.  Having said that, it is very difficult to make this shift on your own.  It is not impossible, but it is a lot more difficult to do without receiving feedback and input from someone who can see you objectively, who values and encourages you, and who helps you take steps towards the life that you want.

Finding another person who understands the challenges of being young and struggling to find your way, and who also refrain from labeling you or forcing their agenda on you can be challenging.  You have probably been directed on what you should be doing by a number of well-meaning people in your life, and while their intentions were probably good, the result was often not helpful.  These attempts are not helpful because the best solutions for your life are your own!  You just need someone to help you figure out your own best answers, and then find ways to make things happen!

I want to be the guy who helps you in this way.  And having just said that, I know that reaching out for help is sometimes the hardest thing for you to do.  I was exactly the same way when I was young and starting on my own.  I had a hard time trusting that anyone I would go to for help would not just push their agenda on me, or direct me in ways that were commonly promoted (just go to school, or just get a job, or just go talk to so-and-so…so many ideas that just don’t necessarily fit!).  I would rather struggle on my own than be weighed down by direction that isn’t helpful.  So, what I can offer you is my ability to really listen, to point out the distortions and lies that I see you telling yourself, to help you fully understand the situation that you are in, and discover the opportunities are available to you, and help you to free yourself of your debilitating patterns and empower you to live the authentic and courageous life that you desire.

I am available when you are ready, so feel free to reach out.

Looking forward to supporting you!


If you are a young man with questions, please get in touch.


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